When Laughter Transforms a Wedding Ceremony into a deeply connected Emotional Moment

If you've ever wondered if brides can do public speaking of their vows without being nervous, according to current physiological understanding, the percent chance is literally zero.

We all experience public speaking differently. I have done research on public speaking and I will tell you how a bride can overcome her nerves. I am a wedding celebrant and have spoken in front of hundreds of people.

Incongruous laughter can be viewed as a fake, yet very strategic, coping mechanism.

In an experiment in the 60's, a group of “teachers” were told to administer electric shocks to unseen strangers when they answered a question incorrectly, with these shocks ever increasing in intensity.

The “learners” in this study, however, didn’t receive a single shock. They playacted with progressively louder screams as the supposed voltage of the shocks intensified. And ironically, the higher this pretended voltage the more likely some of the teachers were to laugh.

Teachers witnessed the escalating suffering and became more stressed out, and as a result they couldn’t help but emit nervous laughter. This was shown to be stabilizing their nervous system.

In 2005 psychology viewed incongruous laughter as a defense mechanism employed to protect a person from being overcome with anxiety. It is a form of emotional regulation that upholds one’s cognitive functioning in the face of a perturbing situation.

In other words, nervous laughter can discharge the negative energy of anxiety, helping us calm down.

Your brain can’t function optimally when you’re focusing on emotional regulation and your self-consciousness will make you less cognizant of your outward environment.

Laughing nervously can immediately mitigate your anxiety. And in quieting your nervous system, you also reduce physical tension, enabling you to think more clearly.

For those wanting the facts, laughter:

• Boosts the immune system. Laughing improves the body’s natural defence mechanism by increasing the amount of immunoglobulins and T cells in the body.

• Laughing expands the inner walls of the arteries which increases the ability of blood to flow around the body and this positive effect lasts for up to 45 minutes once the laughter has dissipated

• Laughing instantly increases the production of serotonin and endorphins and reduces the levels of stress hormones such as cortisol, epinephrine and dopamine

• Laughter can create instant bonds between individuals by the release of oxytocin while laughing.

This is the reason why I always insist on a rehearsal. I prepare the couple for the enormity of the wedding ceremony by turning up in very formal attire. Typically the bride and groom are dressed casually, so that brings the visual jolt of knowing they are being prepared for something quite serious.

And right throughout, I make the rehearsal all about laughter. I encourage them to laugh in their vows, I make light of the moment. And I specifically tell them it is because they need to get rid of their nervous laughter. I advise them to get their nervous energy out.

That's how nerves can be calmed on the day. Sometimes laughter actually is the best medicine.